Men In Tight Pants

Bec – 8 September 2011

The world is a wondrous place…many different cultures…different beliefs and ways of doing things…and I am so excited that we can expose our children to these….

but one thing I know we could do without is Men In Tight Pants. This is one of those things that I think we could, NO, should all have to live without. Unless you are Lance Armstrong riding in the Tour De France, there is no excuse for Lycra to be covering your nether regions.

I can understand world class bike riders vying for that extra scrap of ‘aero dynamic ness’ but let’s get serious here…do Bull Fighting Torreodors really need to be aero dynamic???

But I digress – let me go back and explain why I have suddenly become interested in men wearing tight pants.

Foster and Mylo are celebrating their 9th and 7th birthdays over the next four days and so we have been going on some wonderful excursions lately thanks to the generosity of certain family members to celebrate those special days.

Today’s exciting trip was thanks to Pa and Mich (my Dad and Michele). We headed south to Nimes, about 35 minutes away. Nimes is the home of one of the world’s most well preserved Roman artifacts, the Arena or Amphitheatre, and with the promise of learning about gladiators and bullfighters, the kids were raring to go.

[Side note: The Adamson Family do not support bullfighting in any shape or form]

We opted to head to the Square House first which is a perfect symmetrical Roman building right down the road from the Arena, to watch the 3D film ‘Heroes Of Nimes’ to give the children some visual clues as to what the amphitheatre would have looked like in its hey day and what went on there. They were glued to the screen and when the movie finished the kids clapped and cheered saying that was fantastic!

During our picnic lunch though we then heard from the boys just what their real thoughts on the bull fighting was. Both were appalled and could only see an animal that was being teased and tormented. I love it when the kids come to their own conclusions….especially when it’s the same one as mine!!!!!

Back to the amphitheatre and we entered an amazing old world of archways and steep stair cases that literally lead to the rooftops of Nimes.

Mylo and Sari chatted happily away whilst they completed and coloured in their booklets.

Whilst Foster and Jamie shared their mutual appreciation of gadgets and audioguides. Foster has officially achieved status as Jamie’s ‘Mini Me’ this holiday.

Jamie and his

There were exhibitions of the armour worn by gladiators and frankly I couldn’t even lift them, let alone fight for my life in them. The boys were entranced (including their father) whilst Sari would occasionally look at me and say “these are boy’s things for fighting…girls don’t do that Mummy”.

Which brings me back full circle to the men wearing lycra in unnecessary situations.

Along with a gladiators area there was a ‘Universe of Bullfighting’ display. You can imagine the amount of highly decorated, brightly coloured costumes that were on view. It was a Drag Queen’s den of happiness. The amount of glitz, gold braiding and fake jewels was phenomenal. Put yourself in a locked wooden box with a bull and you are in trouble…but go out anywhere dressed like that, let alone in front of a bull and you are really asking for trouble.

So as you are standing in front of these glass display boxes trying to convince yourself that these men are macho brave heroes, you move onto the next section which is their accessory cases. Yep, they go and top it all off with a gemstone trimmed hat, a pair of knee hi’s and some black ballet shoes with bows.

I can hear the rumbles of politically correct human beings saying that I should be looking at the majestic nature of the rich history of Bullfighting…not at the outfits they wear…and I can appreciate that.

I can see that, it’s origins is supposed to depict a dance….a dance of power and bravery….but guys …haven’t you ever heard of a ‘SOLO’. I don’t remember ever seeing a live bull in the dance of the Torreordor that Torvill and Dean depicted on the ice rink and that earned them an Olympic Gold Medal.

Surely in this day and age, when we have come so far in terms of human rights, can we not reach a little higher , stop teaseing the damn bulls and dance alone.

On the other hand, if I was one of those men dressed in those tight pants I would probably want to tease something and then kill it too… maybe we should spare a thought for them …dressed head to toe in the leftovers of Michael Jackson’s wardrobe with a self created front bottom (see photo below).

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2 Responses to Men In Tight Pants

  1. We were right there in June just last year! Fabulous place and especially for the boys (young and older!).
    My recollections are/were not as eloquent however!
    Please give major kisses and cuddles to Mylo for our today and his tomorrow, and to Fossie for next week’s Birthdays from Mich and Pa (and you can even sneak the same in for Sari!).
    Lots of love,
    Dad & Mich

  2. Suzy says:

    This is why I insist on full length mirrors. If he could see how front-bottomy he looked, he would plunge that spear into his left foot. Your writing is truly marvellous Bec!!!!

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